Loss hurts, but can be healed
by jazelock
Summary: Demeter loses her mate. Can her loss ever be healed? Rating is for some violence, but every story needs a teeny tiny bit of violence, at least, don't they?
1. Carrying on

Coughing violently, I vomited blood onto the already stained pavement. I lifted my head wearily. All the pollicles seemed to be down. "Munkustrap?" I whispered through cracked lips. "Munk? Where are you?" I caught sight of him through a pile of dead pollicles. Crawling over to him, I shook him gently. I turned him over to face me. His eyes were shockingly blank and blood trickled gently out of the corner of his mouth. "Oh no." I put my paw in front of his mouth and nose. No breath came. Opening my mouth, I let out a despairing scream.

"Demeter."

A voice. A tom's voice. "Munk?" I whimpered pitifully. Cracking open an eye, I peered up at the tom standing above me. It was Alonzo. He had several wounds, especially a nasty gash in one shoulder. Opening my other eye, I sat up, head swimming. "Alonzo? Oh, Alonzo, where's Munk?"

My memory painfully began piecing itself together. Remembering what had happened to Munkustrap, I let out another scream. Alonzo swiftly bent down, and I buried my face in his soft fur. Oh everlasting cat. He felt so warm. "I sobbed into his fur. "Alonzo! Alonzo, Munkustrap's dead! Dead! I saw him. His eyes.....they were so dead!" Alonzo said nothing, letting me sob out my feelings. I cried myself to sleep.

Only five Jellicles were left. Tantomile, Coricopat, Alonzo, Rumpelteazer, and me, Demeter. It was a scary thought. Once, we had more than twenty-five. Now... Bomba was dead. Misto was dead. Even Tugger was gone. Munkustrap. A lump rose in my throat. He had whispered to me that day, "You're what makes my life worth living in." He had even kissed me. Alonzo's voice broke through my thoughts.

I barely listened. My thoughts were on Munkustrap, reliving memories of him, him and me, him _with_ me. "Dem? Are you ok?"

"What?! Uh....yeah, I'm ok." I sat up and tried to keep her mind from drifting.

I grunted slightly as I pulled on the dead pollicle. We were clearing the yard. I tried not to look at the dead Jellicles. I knew I would cry if I looked. Instead I stared straight ahead. I felt a paw on my shoulder. I turned around sharply. It was Rumpelteazer. She smiled at me. "Here, Dem. Let me take tha.'" I looked down as she stepped beside me pulling on the pollicle's arm. "You alrigh,' Dem?" I nodded, still not wanting to look at her. "You miss, Munk, don' you?" I looked up then. There was sympathy and understanding in her eyes. "I know how i' feels. I los' Mungojerrie, you know."

I nodded again, watching her. Her eyes suddenly widened. "Dem! Watch ou' fo' tha' edge!" I stepped onto thin air. Letting out an ear-splitting screech, I fell, arms grasping wildly. Then, darkness.

"Demeter."

I opened my eyes. I was in a soft meadow. A familiar tom stood before me. Munkustrap. I hugged him tight and his strong arms held me also. "Oh, Munk. I've missed you so much."

He gently gave me a kiss. "I know, sweetie. I know. But, look. You gotta stop moping over me. Find yourself a nice tom. Do it for me, Dem." I looked up into his eyes. They were serious, but with a tiny spark of joy. I nodded, my voice caught in my throat. "Good." He gave me his sweet, perfect smile. "See you around, Dem."

"She's alive!"

I groaned and opened my eyes, rubbing my pounding head. "Yeah, I'm fine." Alonzo looked relieved. "That was a nasty tumble you took. Come on, I'll lead you back." I took his extended paw. His soft gaze melted my heart. As we walked towards the junkyard, I thought I could hear Munkustrap's soft laugh float by on the wind, his heart-breaking voice approving my choice. I gazed up into the setting moon and whispered, "Soon, Munkustrap. Soon."


	2. Blood on my paws

"With this vow, I swear to be your mate, until death..." I faltered, when I remembered what had happened to Munkustrap. Swallowing hard, I continued, "Until death do us part." Paws trembling, I turned slightly, and kissed Alonzo, while the Jellicles, or what remained of them, cheered.

_Suddenly, darkness fell. I looked around wildly. "Alonzo?" Silence. "Munkustrap?" Slowly, I heard a loud clamor coming from behind me. I turned around, and gasped. A queen was fighting a large Pollicle. It took me a second to realize the queen was me! I saw 'me' crumple to the ground. It looked like 'I' was done for. Suddenly, a blur of gray and silver tackled the Pollicle. "Munkustrap!" I cried, knowing he couldn't hear me. He fought bravely, while 'I' had blacked out. Finally, the Pollicle was down. Munkustrap swayed unsteadily, then also crumpled to the ground. I felt tears coming to my eyes. _

_"You killed him..."_

_I whirled around. There was nobody there. "W-who are you?" I received no answer, except:_

"_You killed him. He fought bravely for you...and he died...His blood is on your paws..." Two paws appeared through the darkness in front of me, drifting closer, paws...dripping blood. I turned and ran as fast as I could away, screaming. The paws came closer and closer. I felt like I was being smothered. I couldn't breathe. The paws were inches away from me and they were coming closer..._

I bolted up in bed, breathing hard. Outside, the night was dark with no moon. Alonzo was sleeping next to me, his back to me. I gave a sigh of relief. "It was just a dream," I murmured, trying to calm myself. "Just a dream...I hope."


	3. Who are you?

Rumpel stopped short and glanced at me worriedly. "Dem? Ya sur' ya alrigh'?" I lifted my head and looked at her blearily, forcing out a weak smile. "Yes, yes, I'm fine." She scrunched up her forehead. "Ya don' loo' so goo'," I shrugged off the comment. "I'll be fine." "I hope." I added silently.

_"Come closer…a little more blood will not hurt you…"_

_I screamed as the paws came closer. I could not move. "I did nothing! Let me go!" The mocking voice repeats my words. "Nothing? Nothing? Your mate is dead because you were a coward and was asleep while he fought for you." I struggled, but I still couldn't move. The mocking words echoed around me. "Your mate…dead…coward…blood…fought…dead….blood...blood...blood…" _

"Demeter? Demeter?!"

I woke up, to find Alonzo kneeling over me, with worried eyes. "You ok, Deme?"

"Yes, I-I'm ok." I lied, breathing hard. "Really, I'm fine."

He looked unconvinced, but relented slowly. "If you say so." He gave me a kiss and whispered, "'Night Dem."

Alonzo fell asleep almost immediately after that. I didn't, but sat still, pondering. Closing my eyes, every detail came back vividly. Almost too vividly for a dream.

"Exactly."

I turned around, my fur standing on end. No one was there. Yet.

"Confused?" A maniacal laugh echoed in my head. I shook my head hard, but the voice remains. "Who are you?" I whisper.

"Who am I? Hmm… Well, if you really don't remember me, I see no reason to tell you much."

I hissed. "Tell me or else."

The voice mocked my words. "Or else what? You'll kill me, like you did your mate? Oh, I'm so scared." He paused. "Not."

I yelled into thin air, "Liar! I did not kill my mate!"

"Whatever you say, Demeter." I could almost hear the voice give a sarcastic shrug. "But remember, dreams come true, sometimes." The voice faded away, leaving me alone with Alonzo.


	4. Unanswered Questions

For the first time in months, I dreamed about Munkustrap. He was standing, facing me, saying something to me. I couldn't hear him though. I made out the words 'danger' and 'careful.' I woke up, drenched in sweat.

"You know, you could just admit that you killed your mate." I clapped my paws over my ears and yelled, "I'm not listening to you!" I flushed when I realized Tantomile and Coricopat were watching me intently. Ignoring the voice still in my head, I walked over and plopped down next to them. "Uhh… Hi." They said nothing for a few moments, then in perfect unison, "Hello." His low voice balancing her higher one. Tantomile glanced at her twin, then in unspoken agreement, he left.

Tantomile folded her legs together and gazed at me. "So, what's wrong, Demeter?" I flushed even harder. "Well- uhh- see, I've been getting these really weird dreams lately. And I keep hearing someone inside my head. Like, not me, but someone else. You'll probably think I'm crazy, but that's just how it is." To my surprise, Tantomile didn't even look confused. She replied, "I know what you must do. First, know that the voice in your head is the voice of-"

She stopped suddenly. I turned—and screamed. Tantomile had fallen, face forward, and a bloody wound was smoking in the middle of her back. Rumpel and Alonzo ran towards me. "Deme! What's wrong?" I pointed, shakily, at Tantomile. Then, I fainted.

Tantomile and Coricopat. Gone. Just like that. Three of us left. How long would we remain? What was the thing Tantomile was going to tell me before she died? Who was the voice? Who had planned the surprise attack that had killed Munkustrap and my friends? Most importantly, who was ruining my life?


	5. Dream

Tears trickled down my face, as I gently placed the flowers on the grave. At the head of the grave, stood a small tombstone with a simple engraving:

Rumpelteazer

Fun loving friend

We will always miss you

And remember you.

She had been discovered, dead, stretched out on the backseat of the car, which still stood in the junkyard, a reminder of the tragedy that had taken place. I felt a paw on my shoulder and turned. "Hi Alonzo," I said, trying hard to keep my voice from cracking. He gave me a sad smile. Then, suddenly, a look of determination came on his face. "Come on, Deme. Let's go."

I was confused. "Go where?"

"Anywhere." He threw his arms out. "I don't care about where. Except to leave this place. With you. I'm not staying here to watch you die, like the other Jellicles. Come on." He pulled me to my feet. I tried to argue, but what could I say? He was right, but something kept niggling at me.

_"Munk?!" I looked wildly around the junkyard. No one was around. The once busy junkyard seemed like a ghost town. "Munk?!" Silence. "Alonzo?!" Still silence. Then, very faintly, there was a call. "Deme?" It sounded strained. I ran towards the voice. "Alonzo? I'm coming!" There was no reply, but a faint thud came to my ears. I rounded the corner and gasped. It was he, alright. He was lying face down in a pool of blood. I looked around for any signs of the attacked, but there was none. Then, I glanced down at my paws. They were dripping with blood. Fresh blood. His blood._

I woke up, screaming.


	6. Answer

(author's note): I know this chapter is kind of short, but to make it more intense (I thought), I had to separate the original into _two_ chapters. Don't worry. I won't leave you in agony for long. :)

I ran past the curtains in the doorway, past the tire where Deuteronomy sat no more, past everything I had ever known. I wasn't going to let anyone hurt Alonzo. Not if I could help it.

Past the balcony where Tugger used to sit and watch us all, past the small clearing which had been the kittens' favorite place to play. Past the boundaries that marked the Jellicle territory. There, I stopped. Panting, I looked around me. All was still in the cool night air. The stars twinkled, in forms of constellations. I shook my head. What was wrong with me?

I sat down to think. Who could be killing off all my friends? I figured it had to be the same person who had planned the Pollicle attack. Who had command over the Pollicles though? I froze as one name came to mind. Of course. _He_ was the only logical explanation.

I got up. He wasn't going to get away with it. I slowly walked towards where I knew his lair was, grimly forming his name over and over again with my mouth, silently. _Macavity. Macavity. Macavity._


	7. The chapter that everybody's been waitin...

Heart pounding, I neared the old factory where Macavity made his hideout. I shuddered, the very sight of it triggering painful memories. The door was open, almost as if someone was expecting me. Not a good sign. The floor in the corridor was slick and in the dim light, I couldn't make out much. I prayed the floor wasn't covered with what I thought it was. There were no guards around. Strange.

There was only one door in the hallway. I took a deep breath and pushed. The door opened. There was no one inside. I glanced around. The room was bare, but… wait… there was a small box in the corner of the room. I walked over, picked it up, and opened it. Inside… I staggered backwards and sat down heavily from the shock. It took several minutes before I dared another glance at the box.

Inside, a photo sat. There were only two figures in the photo. One was me. The other was Munk. Tears came to my eyes just thinking about it. "So glad you could come, Deme."

I jumped up and whirled around. "Macavity!" I hissed. He smirked. "In the flesh." I growled deep in my throat and leapt at him. "Bastard! You…you killed my friends! You killed my mate…you killed Munkustrap!" He laughed as he brushed off my attacks, as if it was all a big joke to him. "You did, didn't you?!" I spat. "You've been killing off my friends? Until only 'lonz was left!"

"Yes, I did, if that would make you feel better. I don't agree with your last statement, however."

"You…" My voice trailed off, as the full impact of those words hit me. "No," I whispered. "No."

Macavity's smirk grew wider. "Well, seems like you're the one Jellicle left."

I opened my mouth, but the words wouldn't come. Instead, I bared my teeth and attacked with new fierceness.

I spat out the blood that was forming in my mouth and gasped for breath. He stood over me, with a sneer on his face. "Brave. But pathetic really." He bent down with one claw raised.

My mind filled with confusion at first. Then, it registered. No. I wasnt going to die this easily. Out of sheer hopelessness, I thrust one claw up wildly. There was sudden silence. I opened my eyes, which had been closed up till now. Macavitys eyes were glazed over and as I rolled to one side, my claw slipped out from where it had been embedded in his chest, and he fell to the ground with a thud.

I had killed him. Him, who had terrorized us for so long. However, there was no rejoicing in my heart. I felt something flowing down my arm. I looked down. My wrists were slashed. I smiled for the first time since entering the city. Thank you, Macavity. I thought. I relaxed and closed my eyes. It wouldn't be long now.

Suddenly, a sharp pain hit me, slowing my heart. My breath was harder to catch now. I writhed on the floor as my body felt lighter. Then, through the haze of the pain, I saw a figure reaching for me. I smiled weakly. Munk. Behind him, several familiar faces came into view. Bomb. Rumpel. Etcy. Tugger. Lonz. Everybody I knew and loved. I managed to whisper, "I'm coming, guys." Then, utter bliss.


End file.
